party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
You made out with two different species that night
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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