I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
