Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
