took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Randomize