I'm eating all of the evidence.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
do herpes really smell.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
