He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
