i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
