I hate all girls vehemently.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
