after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
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