is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
