this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize