Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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