I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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