let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
