You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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