dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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