Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
