i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Randomize