Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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