After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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