pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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