apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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