im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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