Texts From Last Night

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  (909): View more from California

  It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity

  (909): View more from California

  Something's gotta give!

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  (909): It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity (909): Something's gotta give! http://tfl.nu/w8ji
  Replies (23) Good night (528) Bad night (1475)
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  (650): View more from California

  this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away

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  (650): this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away http://tfl.nu/b3o0
  Replies (45) Good night (546) Bad night (2865) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.

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  (303): We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen. http://tfl.nu/slj5
  Replies (22) Good night (6977) Bad night (813)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"

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  (905): while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger" http://tfl.nu/ftph
  Replies (20) Good night (4131) Bad night (960)
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  (607): View more from New York

  He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges

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  (607): He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges http://tfl.nu/3nw2
  Replies (24) Good night (1256) Bad night (6340)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.

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  (571): I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this. http://tfl.nu/xlyp
  Replies (6) Good night (3228) Bad night (811) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.

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  (610): i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome. http://tfl.nu/xt3h
  Replies (8) Good night (2628) Bad night (730) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping

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  (845): Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping http://tfl.nu/4jdo
  Replies (12) Good night (645) Bad night (2362) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.

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  (724): i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand. http://tfl.nu/fmi9
  Replies (6) Good night (2233) Bad night (585) Order T-Shirt
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?

  (1-308): View more from Nebraska

  i hate being the asshole.

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  (308): Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass? (1-308): i hate being the asshole. http://tfl.nu/40d3
  Replies (5) Good night (990) Bad night (2462) Order T-Shirt
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week

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  (334): thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week http://tfl.nu/vfml
  Replies (13) Good night (2871) Bad night (767) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...

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  (773): the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay... http://tfl.nu/071o
  Replies (6) Good night (1998) Bad night (760) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.

  (802): View more from Vermont

  So basically you were a dog.

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  (860): This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground. (802): So basically you were a dog. http://tfl.nu/0n1s
  Replies (14) Good night (8039) Bad night (756)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower

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  (304): I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower http://tfl.nu/7nvc
  Replies (6) Good night (2017) Bad night (483) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know

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  (217): If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know http://tfl.nu/k0hk
  Replies (1) Good night (1232) Bad night (420)

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