Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
