So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
