when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
