there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
