just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
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There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
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If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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