You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
There are leaves in my underwear?
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