Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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