That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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