i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
