Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
