a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
