Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
