I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize