Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
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