i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
