we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
