Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
