I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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