i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
