he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼‍♀️
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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