Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
