i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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