He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize