So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
