It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Randomize