Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT