her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
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We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
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At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.