you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
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In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
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Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize