hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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