i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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