Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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