His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Acid is not a monday night drug
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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