He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
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Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
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Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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